I recently met an ex for dinner. Well I’m not actually sure I can him an ex, I mean we dated for 6 months but we never had THAT conversation. Until the end. When he said he didn’t see us as a couple. Did I say that was on Valentines day? Favorite day of the year *pukes* (unless you are in love when Feb 14 comes around then its a good excuse to be soppy AF). Anyway, our recent ‘catch up’ dinner led me to think I need to start sharing some of my dating tales, just to let others know that although I may have no advice (well maybe a few ‘dont’s’) I do have some funny, funny stories to tell which will probably make singletons feel normal. Or you can just laugh at my expense. Or cry with me. I’d like to think this will be a cross between Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw. Just without the sex, shoes, Mr Bigs or Mark Darcy’s (yet, I’m still a dreamer!)
So why did I have dinner with said ex datee you are thinking? Yes I know you cynical women; you will assume he was lonely, wanted an old friend for some ‘comfort’ (he is a man after all) and yes, you may think more fool me for attending, thinking he wanted me back but probably just wanted me in the sack. Don’t worry!!! I had ALL the power. I had not shaved ANYTHING!
He asked me to meet for catch up and with it being January I had nothing much better to do, so I paused the TV documentary I was watching and slapped my face on. Swapped out of the joggers and put on a ‘no effort, cool, yet how hot am I’ outfit. Except this is really hard to actually pull off, so it was more like skinny jeans, boots and an off the shoulder jumper which is just normal attire but I was wearing it with a confidence. A ‘look at how well I’m doing’ confidence. He looked OK. Well his muscles looked reallllllly huge. But I tried to ignore them. And inside I knew he must not have a girlfriend if hes spent THAT much time in the gym…
Our discussion naturally turned to dating. Well, what else do singletons talk about? Its our one thing in common. To my relief he hasn’t met anyone since me (PHEW) and we shared tales of our attempts at the online dating world. Most of mine being hilarious, drunk or a damn right disaster, of course. And then he drops it into conversation that he’s had two auditions for Channel 4 hit show First Dates and its looking likely he will appear on a first date on national television. GREAT. I’m going to watch someone I was once felt could be the possible father to my unborn children go on a date with another woman. And so are all my friends. And my family. Cringe. He is just the gift that keeps on giving, right?!
At the audition he was asked for funny first date stories and he didn’t really have any. This I can agree with, he really doesn’t. ‘So where do you see yourself in 5 years?’ was his opening gambit with me. Erm is this a date or a job interview? If the latter I am probably dressed inappropriately! I even made a rubbish excuse to leave and text my housemate to pick me up. Stupidly I did give him another chance to ‘woo’ me and the rest is now history.
It did lead me to think, though, me and my girlfriends have ALOT of stories from this ever developing and changing world of dating. It what we talk about in the office most days; we compare our matches and our super swipes, we laugh at the dodgy messages and cry at the desperation. So this how I got here from the First Dates bombshell to the first blog attempt.
I’m a 28 year old woman and have been officially single for nearly THREE whole years. Three years ago you could still go to a bar and get a number or two. In 2017 you don’t get a number unless you go through an online mobile app, judge someone on looks, have a mind numbingly boring conversation about occupation, how many countries you’ve been to and whether you had a good weekend. Standard responses such as ‘Good thanks, ready for the weekend’ and questions such as ‘So what are you here for’ are part of the daily routine. That is if either party hasn’t given up on responding yet. But sometimes, just sometime you might actually swap numbers and arrange a date. Crazy as it sounds. So blog 2 I promise to share with you some of my experiences. The theme for Blog 2 is drunken dating disasters, you are in for a treat!
Until then though, its tinder time. And Remember No Swipey, No likey…